I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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