Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Two words: blizzard sex
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
