put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize