Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
