respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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