Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
