no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
