I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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