I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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