Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
