Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
