Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
