my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
