you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
