i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
