She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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