we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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