She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
