the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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