I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Randomize
