I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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