so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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