can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
