And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
