I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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