GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
