when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
