hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
