Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
