Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize