K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
