SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she pinky promised me she was 18
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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