She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
