Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
