He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
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After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
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You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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