I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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