i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
