Moan for me like Helen Keller
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
