hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
