Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
