thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
