i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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