: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
