im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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