are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
