At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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