so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize