i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
