You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
