But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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