yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
