I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
