We're facebook friends in real life
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
