why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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