IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
