Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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