He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i think i have herpe
just one?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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