I like to think it a success when the cops are called
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
