If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize