Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
