Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
