I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
