grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
