Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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