I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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