We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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