Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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