how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
